How does one begin writing of their journey? Words seem so inadequate;
I wish that it was possible to sit with each one of you, to share my heart - to
listen to your questions and to pour out the journey this past year has taken
me on. Alas, it isn't possible, so I am giving it my best attempt at writing my
journey. I'm sure many details will be left out, because words (and even
pictures) don't adequately represent what the last few years have held.
Yes, my journey began more than 18 months ago when I was reading a
blog, the blog was written by one of the women who began the ministry147
Million Orphans, the blog mentioned a children's home in Uganda. The children’s
home had not been in existence long, it was started by 2 young women, both
named Emily. I read that this wasn't any ordinary children's home but one for
children with special needs. You see, Several years ago through a set of
circumstances this too had become my passion - seeing children with physical
and developmental delays become all they could be. This combined with my
passion for missions and for seeing the Nations come to Him - I knew that this
ministry was one that I wanted to be a part of. In October of 2011 when it came
time to meet with my advisor for advisement at school, I knew I had to talk
with her. Would it be possible for me to take a semester off? Was it crazy that
I wanted to serve these children and this nation - one that I had never been to
and knew little about? That October, I sat with my school mentor and then my
school advisor and told them that I would be taking a semester off and would
spend approx. 11 weeks in Uganda serving with Ekisa, a special needs children's
home.
After breaking the news to my parents around New Years that year,
I was well on the way of applying, being accepted and beginning the task of
fundraising to live in a foreign country for nearly 3 months, I was accepted in
February of 2012, to serve as a volunteer from May -July 2013 (for those of you
keeping up, I know this is a large gap - one that I didn't understand at the
time). I still had a year of school and a summer serving as a Cabin Leader at
Camp Pinnacle plus another semester of school standing in the way of my
semester off and then boarding a plane to Uganda.
What I didn't understand at the time was why the Lord would call
me to take a semester off of school to just work, I questioned why I couldn't
just finish school, graduate THEN go to Uganda...His plans are always better my
friends.
After finishing a year of school and spending the summer of 2012
at Camp Pinnacle, I returned to school for the Fall semester to finish core
classes. In October of 2012, my mentor and friend told me of an opportunity
that had arose for her and her family to go and serve in Uganda for 2 weeks in
February. I read the testimony of the young man that the team would be
partnering with and it BLEW ME AWAY. I was astounded and humbled and I KNEW
that the Lord was calling my heart too...This left me in a large dilemma. I had
confirmation that the Lord was already leading me to Uganda in the summer of
2013, how could He also lead me to go in February?
After sharing this dilemma of my heart and the fears of the world
with my mentor she said "Stephanie, don't ask Him about the money, ask Him
if He would have you go twice." This was a challenge and a moment
where I had to let go; let go of the fear of fundraising, the fear of Uganda,
the fear of jobs or school...Within just a few weeks - I knew the answer deep
in my very being. The Lord was paving a way and His way had me on a plane,
heading to Uganda in February of 2013. I wrote a check from the money that I
had already fundraised for my summer in Uganda and that was that. I was headed
to Uganda, to a remote village that you can't find on a map, that not many
people have ever heard of, that few people are willing to go to.
And so on February 11 of 2013 I jumped on a plane in
Atlanta, Georgia and I was ill prepared for how the Lord would flip my
world upside down. While we were in Atlanta, I was handed a schedule and
warned, this will change - it is a guide but it will change and that was
the last of that schedule. I learned more than ever how to simply BE with
people of a different culture, language and life. Few words can describe
the experience of driving to the middle of nowhere plus a little further only
to be greeted by women and children, dressed in their best, waving flags
and banners and shouting praises that you had come. I was brought to tears as
we climbed off the bus into a crowd of hundreds of people, many who had walked
from miles around, just to come and learn WITH us. I was amused and
full of joy to see HUNDREDS follow us to set up camp that first night in the
village and stare with wonder and awe as they saw white people, many for the
first time, set up Camping tents and unroll our fleece blankets for the
night (much of our luggage was delayed in London - many of us didn't have our
sleeping bags or sleeping pads the first 2 nights). We considered it
JOY that we too were sleeping on a fleece blanket as many of those that we
were there to love on that week were.
I rejoiced and danced and stood in awe as a team of people
from many different walks of life stood in a concrete building with no
roof and no doors WORSHIPPING in the building that soon would be
filled with many children...many attending school and hearing TRUTH for the
first time in their lives. I laughed and talked and smiled so much that it hurt
as the team threw bricks into piles, moving them from the front of the
building so the children coming to school wouldn't injury their barefoot feet.
Who knew moving bricks could be so much fun?!
Our days were filled with learning from and with the groups
of Leaders from various surrounding communities, Women, Children and
Youth. We were able to share the Gospel, I saw miracles take place. I saw
Him provide in ways like never before as He provided evening walks,
translators and quiet moments at just the right time. We were able to see
so much fruit, it was overwhelming to finally be with a people that we had
prayed so much for - they already had our hearts...now many were truly
becoming our Brothers and Sisters in Him.
After nearly a week in Angoltok, we boarded a bus back for
Jinja, where we would be loving on other ministries there. As I sat
on that bus looking out the window taking in all of the sights and sounds, the
children playing, the mud huts, women and men working hard in the fields; I was
in great turmoil over ever returning. I wanted too but you know there is always
fear in the Lord asking us to do the hard things and living in a village with
no running water or electricity where showers are under the stars with a
headlamp and the bathroom is a 20ft hold in the ground - we want to RUN in the
opposite direction and hide. I was there as I looked at the miles run by on
that bus. I wasn't ready for Him to tell me to go back and to invest and to
continue learning with those that not only needed help in the physical things
but also in the spiritual. I just wasn't ready.
That brings me to being back in the states and sharing what God
has done and is doing in Angoltok and in Uganda and how that in 10 weeks I will
be returning - that's right, gone for 2 weeks, back for 10 weeks then gone for
nearly 11 weeks - a journey that could only be from Him.
2 weeks after arriving back in the states and with just about 8
weeks til I am scheduled to board another plane - this time alone - the Lord
calls me out. The Lord calls me to go back to Angoltok for my first week
to serve and love the women and to see the Angoltok Outreach Center and be
a part of ministries going on there once again. Yet in the midst of this,
I'm scared, terrified really - you see this means more money to raise...Lord,
I'm only a few weeks out I cry out to Him but He has made it clear - this is
His journey not mine, I surrendered my life some years ago --- what I want
doesn't matter...I surrendered that to Him.
So 2 weeks after arriving back in the states with all of this new
stress of raising so much money the Lord gives me a number, a large number, a
number that sends me running in the opposite direction. It is a number that the
Lord tells me that He will provide as provision for my trip this summer.
Provision. Noun. something provided; a measure or other means for meeting a need.
So He said it, Stephanie, I'm going to provide provision for you,
this will cover your expenses plus more - I will call you to things this summer
and I will provide for you to be able to meet those needs.
And guess what happened? I began running, running from the number.
It was too big, too scary, too unknown and not tangible for this human being to
even fathom. However, the Lord never gives up and after just a few short days I
wrote the number - I realized that if I didn't write it, it may never be real
and I may never trust Him for it. So I wrote it in a journal. Over the course
of the next several weeks it was confirmed by 2 dear Sisters in Christ in my
life. That was it - I was running with it, circling it in prayer and begging
for obedience from the Body of Christ.
Those 8 weeks stretched me in ways that I couldn't have imagined.
I had my ups and downs, days where I rejoiced in the provision He was
providing, the next day I would be discouraged that it may never happen.
Yet, when the day was done and the plane ticket and insurance was
purchased, the medications had arrived and I was boarding a plane - the exact
amount....
$10,000.00 was in my account
And I was awaiting in eager expectation of what the Lord may lead
me to do with this provision, above what my expenses would be.
And because of your obedience to Him, my Brothers and Sisters,
because of the provision that He provided,
113 women in Angoltok received sugar, salt, soap and oil plus a
feast of rice, posho, beans and goat on the last day we had Fellowship
together.
A university student is in school this semester.
Countless dinners were shared with Brothers and Sisters so dear to
me.
Many journeys were had, friendships deepened and my eyes opened. I
had the opportunity to visit Angoltok, Lira and the Islands.
vehicles were fixed and petrol money was provided.
One on one times with precious children were had- we went
miniature golfing, swimming, out for cake and ice cream or soda.
A Saturday in Kampala doing Street boys ministry took place.
I got to experience and see the poverty and spiritual bondage that
so many are still caught in.
AND More ALL because of His
provision!
After returning to Uganda in May, I spent 9 days in Angoltok with
the Angoltok Outreach Center (AOC), I was able to hear the vision for the AOC.
I saw the need that the school has, the needs of the church, I participated in
Mercy Ministry - carrying branches, cleaning compounds, hoeing the fields and
sharing the gospel with others. I watched in amazement at how just a few
teachers could care and love and teach HUNDREDS of children each day. I saw
posho and beans reproduced like never before, children climbing mango trees -
laughing and giggling at the color of my skin. I was humbled and brought to my
knees as Saturday morning we fasted and prayed for the AOC. Sunday morning was
filled with worship and service – I have never before been so humbled to be a part
of a church that took their offering and walked to a neighbors home – a man who
had suddenly become ill and unable to work – and gave the offering to the
family, because as it was explained to me – the church had all it needed, this
family needed it more. 6 days opportunity arose for TRUTH from His Word to be
shared in Fellowship with the women of Angoltok, by the end of those 6 days 113
women were meeting.
I was full and not ready to leave, yet the journey continued. The
Lord saw fit that His daughter needed to be stretched and grew.
We arrived in Kimaka around 3:30 or so that afternoon and I was
terrified and overwhelmed as we arrived at Ekisa, 20+ children greeted me, many
who couldn't say my name, some who just layed, some who wanted to hug and greet
and to be honest, I wasn't sure I was ready for all this. I nearly cried as I
said goodbye to my Brother in Christ, Emma, and embarked on a brand new journey
- one with 20+ sweet kiddos.
My first week or so at Ekisa was overwhelming to say the least, I
didn't know what I had gotten myself into, many times I felt useless and was
searching for my place in all this (something that I now realize pretty much
EVERY volunteer goes through this questioning). It only took about a week for
me to feel right at home - to fall in love with each child, to know their cries
and when they weren't feeling well, to know how they liked to be fed or if they
liked to be wrapped or put in a stroller for one on one time.
It was fun to discover the strengths of each child and their food
likes and dislikes. So much to discover and learn and grow WITH them. I soon
felt at home here, I loved walking from the volunteer house each morning alone
or with other volunteers to Ekisa, walking in the gate and being greeted by
Uncle Simon and the kids, how Zeke would say Auntie Stephanie (like I had never
heard my name pronounced before) or how Paul would always run to hug and show
you the latest booboo that had happened. Morning smiles from Amy or Debra,
giggles from James and morning babble talks with Misach. Hugs and sheer delights
of laughter from Mweru when He hadn't seen me in a few days. Some days I walked
away feeling smothered in LOVE - it was a good feeling, even on the tough days.
So this summer I learned to love and laugh, I learned to play and
run, I learned that love has no specific language - sometimes it’s a cuddle or
a hug, sometimes it’s a laugh or a chase, sometimes love is a conversation or a
listening ear. Some days love was shown through children who have been through
way too much in their short lives, some days it was shown through the kindness
of a boda driver or a waitress, some days it was a fellow volunteer or Ekisa
staff member and sometimes it was through a friend. I have learned so much this
summer that my heart can't even put into words...not yet.
I have friends that have turned into family. I have seen the hurt
and false sense of Hope that false religion and cults have to offer but I've
also seen the absolutely pure JOY that my Savior offers to all who call on Him.
You see, I thought my journey was ending on August 1st - the day I
arrived home. After all, my journey was 76 days total. People could breathe a
sigh of relief, Stephanie had made it back from Uganda, alive and well - for so
many had been concerned for my safety. I won't say this wasn't a concern but
when you step out, walking with the Lord, you are ALWAYS walking into unknown,
uncertain territory. However, being back in the states people aren't as
worried for your safety. There is little risk for Malaria, or other common
tropical diseases and so they praise the Lord for your safety and for bringing
you back. I am grateful for my safety in Uganda and for the Lord providing
protection against such illnesses but something happened on August 6th
that changed everything for me.
On August 6th, just a few short days after arriving back in the
states. I was in a car accident. I was sitting at a red light when I
blacked out, my car moved forward and a guard rail stopped me. As I came
to at the accident scene and a young man was yelling at me "Are you
okay?" I was confused, it was my car's horn that was blowing, it was
my air bag that had been deployed, I was the driver, the one sitting in this
car that was now in the guard rail. What had happened? What had happened? After
calmly telling someone to call 911 and telling someone else to call my
dad. The EMT's, police officers and fire truck were at the scene. I was
being checked out and taken to the ER. My sense of calm never disappeared - my
mom actually said to me, "Stephanie, why are you so calm?" I had no
answer - I still have no answer except for- it’s ALL Him.
I have struggled with this whole thing, I had barely begun
processing Uganda, I am still very much missing it, asking Him what is next and
preparing for school and work and then this - an accident. Something to recover
from and heal from and work through so as not to be terrified of driving again.
I've been through every emotion this past week from being mad,
frustrated, sad, angry, grateful for my life, rejoicing in His protection and
knowing that He is in control. I kept wondering why Lord, I was reminded and
challenged to keep my eyes on Him - for the opposition comes to kill, steal and
destroy but He came that I may have life, life to the full. (John 10:10)
I didn't and still don't understand why this freak accident, as I
like to refer to it, has occurred. But as I was worshipping yesterday morning -
He whispered gently to my very being that THIS is a part of the journey and it
is His story. And He quietly reminded me that so many people were concerned for
my safety as I was in Uganda in February and this summer, yet in mere days of
me returning to the states I was in an accident - in which I could have lost my
life. He reminded me that no matter where I am in this great big world - He is
there, He is in charge of my journey...He has ultimate control.
So as I sat letting this truth sink in - He challenged me to not
let fear ever get in the way of being obedient to Him. There is great unknown
and uncertainty on the journey that He leads us to - but He is always ALWAYS
there and in charge of every detail. He provided a guard rail to stop me. He
provided Good Samaritans to pull over and help. He provided protection in the
form of an airbag and seat belt. He provided a green light at just the moment
that my body (in its unconscious state) propelled my car forward. He had me
driving at a time of day that isn't quite so busy. He had me at a red light and
not driving down the road. These little details weren't overlooked by the God
of the universe but instead they were set just so as to protect me.
I am taking precautionary measures and will be seeing a
neurologist in the coming weeks but I know that He too is already there - in
the future, with me and planning the details.
Friends - if there is anything I have learned it’s that He is the
Lord and I am not, His plans are perfect as are His details - don't let fear
stop you from walking with Him. He is God is Uganda and Kenya and Haiti and
Korea and Canada and Iran and the States - He is the God of this World. He is
the God of those trapped in the bondage of False religions, those who are
searching and those whose hearts have been hardened; He has the power to break
those chains and set them FREE - I've heard testimony of His saving Grace and
know the power it has. We are His creation, "He saw all that He had
made and it was very good..." (Genesis 1: 30) so friends, please don't be
fearful of where the Lord has called you - precautions are necessary but He is
Lord over all and we must learn to trust that.
I pray that you have been drawn to Him through this
journey. I have tried to be as real and transparent with my journey as humanly
possible and I pray that your heart will simply be to know His heart more – It’s
my prayer for myself and for you.
As Bob Goff says in his book 'Love Does'
"That's because love is never stationary. In the end, love
doesn't just keep thinking about it or keep planning for it. Simply
put: Love does."
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| In Angoltok with a sweet baby boy who I first met in February, he wasn't so little anymore - he was also the first child that peed on me this summer...but definitely not the last. |
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| Can you see the red dirt on me?! The culprit the one hugging me. Mweru, I miss this kid every day. |
